


on the line

by schwarzesloch



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, Slash, Spanish National Team, but it happened, cesc is a little shit, football rpf - Freeform, football slash, kinda depressing tbh, they're both problematic, this is just a snippet i honestly don't know where i was going with this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 17:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11109168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schwarzesloch/pseuds/schwarzesloch
Summary: He has to wonder if Villa keeps risking everything for those fleeting moments, or if there’s something deeper going on under the surface.





	on the line

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a footballslash table I was doing in 2011, but I only got around to editing (or honestly re-writing the whole thing) last year.  
> (set some time in 2011, when they both used to play for Barcelona)

"So... Do you like it?" Villa asks, looking around the empty room, admiring the solemnity of the walls, the polished wooden planks on the floor.

 

"Yes", Cesc answers simply. "But you’re the one who has to like it."

 

"I know."

 

They allow the silence fill the room for a few moments before Cesc speaks up, not bothering to hide the curiosity in his voice:

 

"Didn’t your wife want to come with you, Guaje? You know, to see the house. It is of her interest too, isn’t it?"

 

(Cesc thinks that perhaps too many things lie implied in his words, selfishness being one of them. He shouldn’t overthink it, he’s just asking a question. Cesc doesn’t think Villa will think things the way he does, because Villa never does.)

 

Villa thinks about it for a moment before he's forced to conclude that he doesn’t know why his wife isn't visiting this potential new house with him.

 

"It might have slipped my mind" Villa grits his teeth and Cesc realizes that yes, Villa had heard the implications in his words earlier. Now he feels guilty, like a child who’s been caught sneaking around.

 

"Maybe. But it didn’t slip you to call me." Cesc suggested, half playful, half serious. "Maybe I’ve got better taste in decoration and you’re afraid to tell her?"

 

"Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about", Villa snaps, the lines on his face suddenly harsh and serious, like he’s grown older in a matter of seconds.

 

"Did I do something wrong?", Cesc asks innocently.

 

"Yeah, you know it damn well. This thing we’ve been doing, you know it’s wrong."

 

"I know."

 

"No, you don’t", Cesc definitely didn’t see that coming. He opens his eyes wide for a fraction of a second. "I think that also slips your mind."

 

"Well, I can try to imagine", he says. "It’s the closest I can get."

 

"Well that’s not close enough." Villa snaps at him, breathing in sharply before continuing. "Do you have any ideia… Can you even begin to imagine how it feels to fool around behind your wife’s back, — no, you can’t. I’ll tell you why, Francesc; you might have had your flings and girlfriends, you might even have taken them seriously, but it does not- it just doesn’t compare, you know? I’m not trying to guilt you, but there are words on that paper and sometimes I think -- I think that sometimes you forget what’s on the line for me."

 

Cesc takes time to process the words. He doesn’t ever forget how much Villa is risking for him – the thought of the two of them getting caught, of Villa’s marriage being destroyed, because of him, is always on the back of his mind. And yet they keep going back to each other. 

Sometimes he wonders why. 

Is it because they got too comfortable with each other, or is it he’s just weak and can’t resist the man? When Villa reassures him in the heat of the moment that yes, he wants this as much as Cesc does, all rational thought is thrown out the window and it’s just them and their bodies pressing together, moving at a frantic pace, and in the next moment it’s all over. He has to wonder if Villa keeps risking everything for those fleeting moments, or if there’s something deeper going on under the surface.

 

Villa looks at him, waiting for Cesc to say something, anything. Maybe ‘I can’t do this anymore’ or ‘I think we should stop’-

 

"When we get together”, Cesc takes a breath before he says, “and you tell me you want it too – in those moments, do you remember what's on the line?"

 

Villa can’t believe the accusatory tone in Cesc’s voice. Cesc wouldn’t do this, he’d know how to read between the silences and the gazes Villa directs at him, loving and passionate and clandestine. He would know that Villa loves him all – heart, body and soul. That’s why he can’t just walk away whenever he remembers what’s at stake.

 

Villa realizes that for him it’s a zero sum game.

 

He doesn’t want to have to make that choice.


End file.
